This picture…Our kid’s first baby picture. 10 days past conception.
It’s a year for 10 year anniversaries. (A Tattoo and A Miscarriage) And there are many things going on right now that are driving my memories of this to the surface.
On July 23, 2007 I was in Brooklyn, NY having a frozen embryo transfer. Our first cycle of IVF had ended in a pregnancy and then miscarriage. Our second cycle had ended in no pregnancy. How would this frozen embryo transfer end? Our chances were good. My body was ready, the embryos were all 10 days old and doing great. As I remember back I can almost feel the the excitement, the cautious optimism, the fear and anxiety that I felt in my stomach the entire week before the transfer.
This lady…my son’s godmother and my dear friend who gave me shots multiple times a day. Who took me to and from the hospital. Who let me lay on her and her husband’s couch for my 3 days of bed rest after my transfer. We had stopped at the Americana for breakfast on the way to the airport. Coffee and pancakes. Seems like yesterday. Hard to believe it has been 10 years already.
This pregnancy test (yes I saved it)…I actually knew I was pregnant before I took this test. It was a little over a week after my transfer. With both my pregnancies my mouth started to water uncontrollably for no reason. Just randomly. I know…weird. This time it was in church on Sunday. I knew immediately, well I hoped immediately that I was pregnant. I took this test on Wednesday even though I was due to have a blood test on Friday. After 13 years of negative home tests I wasn’t going to be cheated out of a positive one.
This ultrasound…7 weeks. After I heard and saw the heart beat and the doctor left the room I dropped to my knees, bawled my eyes out and thanked God for answering my prayers. Our baby had a strong heart beat. This might actually be happening for real. I think we may have held our breath for my entire pregnancy.
This boy…our heart, our miracle, our joy! It’s crazy to think that in 9 months we will be celebrating his 10 year anniversary.
This group…The Kofinas Fertility Group. Amazing group of talented doctors, nurses, embryologists, lab and support staff. Not all of them are pictured but they all have a special place in our hearts!
This song…Still by Hillary Scott
You’re parting waters
Making a way for me
You’re moving mountains that I don’t even see
You’ve answered my prayer before I even speak
All You need for me to be is still!
This post…we got our miracle. It used to frustrate me so very much when women who had struggled with infertility but had babies or adopted babies would tell me not to give up. That some day it would be my turn. How did they know what my future held? I swore I would never be one of those women. Yet here I am saying don’t give up. Why? Because without those women’s encouraging words I would have lost hope. Don’t lose your hope. Look outside the box. Consider something new. Take a chance. Step out in faith. You never know what God is doing behind the scenes, what mountains he might be moving or waters he is parting.